TEH FIRST INSTALLMENT OF MANY!
by Yuffie Leonheart
Summary: And so, the first chapter actually story begins
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: AS A RANDOM THIEF I MAY HAVE STOLEN SEVERAL THINGS FOR MY STORY; I DO NOT OWN FINAL FANTASY (sadly, just some stuff XD), OR ANY ANIME WHATSOEVER (well, some... manga, DVDs etc..), I DO NOT OWN TEH "XP" "DON'T YOU SMILEY AT ME!" JOKE (.hack/MUTATION does) OR... teh Esure man. Actually... I do. He lives with me. He lives under my bed. :3 I feed him cheesy snacks. :D I also do not own Yuffie Kisaragi, I just roleplay her... apparently. shifty I do not own any bishies, except my Cloud-chan (who does belong to me but he needs a "I do not own Cloud Strife" disclaimer.. etc) I do not own: FF, FMA, Furuba, .hack 8 Simple Rules, Osmosis Jones, Tokyo Mew Mew, Oompa-Loompas OR Excel Saga. I DO HOWEVER OWN: Rhi (mai bitch/best friend :D), Chibi-kun (teh Kotarou-kun to my Misha), and Gemma (I have tied her up before. I can do it again. Thefore, I own her. XD)

TEH FIRST INSTALLMENT OF MANY INSTALLMENTS!

Yuki picked up a phone and left the house, where he then bumped into Roy Mustang, who chucked a dog at him. He grabbed the cat running away with a rabid disliking for said dog, and used it's long claws to carve "is ur fridg runnin?" into the bark of a nearby tree. A young woman named Boblo ran out of the house and screamed   
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY FRIDGE! MY MUFFINS WILL TURN INTO ATOMIC WEAPONS! NOOOOO!" Then suddenly, the pillock from the ESure advert appeared:  
"Calm down dear! It's a **commercial**!" he ESured her (hehe), and then his head exploded in a cloud of music.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Boblo screamed, and she rushed indoors, forgetting in her haste the reassurance.

"NOOOOOOOO!" she squealed, for her fridge had indeed combusted.

She lay next to the fragments of fridge, and closed her eyes.

Next door, a girl sat cutting her nails.  
"WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CAKE!" A random woman enquired, appearing, randomly of course, and shoving cake into the freaked-out girl's face. She raised an eyebrow comically, and noted a ladder in the leg of her striped tights.  
"Bugger!" she commented, pulling it thoughtlessly. It began to grow, until her entire body was engulfed by the enormous hole.

_That's not a good sign.. _she thought to herself, realising she was trapped, hopelessly lost, and no-one was ever going to find her.

"HEY! MEII-CHAN!" The woman had re-appeared, and she took a huge pair of nail scissors, the ones Meii had been using as nail clippers 100 times largified, and cut through the tights.

"Thank you Frey!" she laughed, tossing the gargantuan tights in the waste disposal unit she kept handy for times like this.

" 'Yo Papa-H!" Anthony suddenly appeared, and Frey wondered who on Earth he was, and why he had chosen to type in such luridly coloured text.

"Um, yo! Like... who the hell are you!" Frey questioned, eyes wide. "Yo! Anthony yo! I'm just chillin', ladies!" he answered, sticking his thumbs up in a ludicrously positive gesture.

"LIKE OMG!" "WE'RE LIKE ALL GONNA DIE!" "LIKE, OH NOOOO!" Bridget Hennessy screamed, clutching her long blonde locks. A meteor was headed for their home, with "DESTINATION: AXLELIA" stamped on it's arse. Although it was going teh complete wrong sodding way, it ignored it and continued to head for the Hennessy establishment near Michigan.

"LOL YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" Another meteor with "DESTINATION: LOOMPA-LAND" stamped clearly on it's pert posterior. Then, they both swooped, wiping out the entire human race. A passing Angel hissed:  
"WHOA! They made more of a mess than the SECOND IMPACT!" Then, the Angel also died.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS IDIOT'S STORY! LOVE TO YE WHO READ THIS!

XXX   
Yuffie 333


	2. TEH SECOND INSTALLMENT!

A new story by one so insane she should be named Excel but she's not actually she is in fact Yuffie but that's not right either and- -gagged-

And, so our story begins, weaving a tale of despair, in which a poor victim of the story includes a young boy who has to cut his beloved hair but it actually grows back but all his rabid fangirls -coughYuffieandRiza- revolt against teh ebil man who made him cut it, named Yusukia Kuramia Kuwaria Yukinia Yu Yu Eien Koenmai the SECOND, daughter of Kita Lilailia Queetie Boama Majhallia. AND finally, I make a full stop, because I have the power to do that and it is great. Yes. It is. Anywaysiolosa, a girl named Paul lived with a man named Jennifer and they had lots of children and one was named Winry Rockbell and she soon married Lust and together they were happy in the land of shoujo ai, then Eiri Yuki came along and he chanted "YAOI! YAOI! YAOI!" and kissed whoever he likes to be shounen ai-ish with since the idiot writing this has not yet explored the realms of shounen ai except for strange fan fiction she reads about RoyXEd... -A MOMENT WHILST OUR AUTHORESS DROOLS- Ah, yes, done, gomen nasai minna... minnow! Fish! Nya:3

-the Authoress turns into Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew and has a fish stuck in her mouth like in the first volume of the manga- Er, now where was I? Oh yes, Roy and E- -hit on head with extremely large stick- OH WHAT PAIN! Er, yes... oh yes, FISH! Fish is right, isn't it? -checks with manager- Our conversation:  
Manager-sama: "NO YOU STUPID IDIOT! NOT FISH!"  
Yuffie: "... gomen nasai ?"  
Manager-sama: -hits Yuffie with nearby phone-  
Yuffie: "OW!"  
Manager-sama: "KEEP WRITING NORMAL STUFF!"  
Yuffie: "I-like-to-give-my-people-what-they-want-and-that-is-not-n- HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL ILPALLATZO!"

Manager-sama: "EXCUSE ME?"

Yuffie: "ILPALLATZO-SAMA:D:D:D:D"

Manager-sama: -grabs Yuffie and strangles her-

In loving memory of my writing career (and myself)

Yuffie 3


	3. TEH THIRD 'UN!

Another-random-story-from-she-who-eats-one-meal-a-day-and -- also lives as she was ressurected by teh Gods of Misfortune For Yuffie's Readers 

Bwahahahahha ph34r teh next installment to my insane tales of dooooooooom. Yesh so anywhom  
One day in an extremely large household the household family of the household got a dog! Guess what? A household one!   
"XP"  
"DON'T YOU SMILEY AT ME!" The new dog snarled. The dog's name was Tolus Amigonia Sonorousiala Osmosis Jones the Sevenhundredandeightyseventh. -rambles on and on- Anywhom We shall call her TASOJSHESTH for short! (XPPPPPP) The owner of this particular mutt, Sofialalalalalalalala, simply grinned. She wasn't scared of the daft mongrel! How dare the little beast try to intimidate her, even if it -DID- have an extremely long name the authoress shortened to make it even longer on purpose to piss people off! That didn't matter to

Sofialalalalalalalala, now, did it! She was pondering her existence on this dear planet, when suddenly a very chibi boy appeared. He had spiky brown hair and looked a bit like Squall (-Fangirls -COUGHRIZAANDYUFFIECOUGH- squeal in delight-). Yuffie (teh authoress, teh me :D), appeared and GLOMPED the kid in her utter and sheer adoration for him. The boy looked bewildered.

"CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI!" Yuffie exclaimed, noogie-ing the boy happily.

"Shut uuuuuuuppp..." he complained, shaking his gorgeous locks.

"Chibi-kuuuuuuuuun!" she grinned. Suddenly, a random dude appeared. He was taller than Chibi-kun, but -- OH NO! A random vampire randomly appeared to randomly nibble someone's neck!

"I," the fiesty vampiress announced, in between munches, "Am Teh Vampiress of Dooooooooooom, A.K.A. (S) Rhiannon -- (L) --Anth (S) -... shit!" she grinned trumpetly (NOT A TYPO OF TRIUMPHANTLY! BTW), and took a great chunk out of the unlucky critter's neck. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOW ME NECK!" he yelled in peeeeeeain (only idiots -coughYuffieandRhicough- will get teh "peeeeeain" joke ;D), in a fabulous Ceeakeland accent. The authoress was delighted with his Ceeakeland accent and she appointed him Guest Star of the... Story... except for Teh Vampiress of Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooom:D

Sure ya wanna keep reading, people? Ooooookay, but, WARNING:  
Explicit content: Teh word "appeared" is used FAR TOO MUCH!  
Racism: The word "lol" is used! -SHOCK HORROR!-  
1337ism: t3h w0rd5 m4y b lyk h4rd 2 r34d 4 411 u idi075 0u7 7h3r3!

Side Note: BWAHAHAHAHHA! Ph34R MY 4W350M3 1337 5KILL0RZ! D  
AND SO ON AND SO FORTH.

Anway, before teh authoress leaves us in a drunken/13373d stupor... let us CONTINUE! D D D  
"XP"  
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU, NO SMILEYING!" TASOJSHESTH bellowed angrily. "Just 'cause you're -ACTUALLY- a he/she dog!" Sofilalalalalalalalalalalala taunted gleefully. "I AM NOT!" TASOJHESTH snapped, furious to be teased about something so... personal. "PH34R G377ING UR H34D RIPP3D 0FF BY M3 IF U D0N'7 5HU7 7H3 H311 UP!" TASOJHESTH leeted angrily. Just then, a random slut appeared! (WARNING, RACISM)

"LOL! ur lyk so gud at tht hakin spk ppls use! lol! a cnt bleeve it lol! a luv it!" " Teh other "txtspkers" appeared in a random vengance of their leader who died sadly when someone spoke to her in GASPY NORMAL TYPE! Well, actually... that wasn't it, someone stole her bottle of vinegar for her fish 'n' chips. (DON'T ASK.) She was furiously filled with fury, and furiously she ran over to teh other table to nick it back, when suddely, a large puff of smoke appeared, and she died. On her gravestone, there was the words, "R.I.P. gemma luven sum1. she waz lyk a luvly person nd tht..." When Sofialalalalalalalalal saw her grave, she burst out laughing so loud that a ramdom pepper pot appeared with a "-PING-!" and Yuffie teh authoress screamed in glee and delightness. "MAI CLOUD-CHAN!" she shrieked and ran over to her rather girlish looking hubby and glomped him joyfully. Cloud appeared, as if from nowhere, holding a large neon sign, which read "I am obsessed with dressing like an idiot in a pink dress:D:D:D Ph34r mai crossplay:D" Teh authoress, Yuffie, grinned at this and nodded, adding a, "Well yesh that's true ", and then running away from teh angered Cloud-chan-whose-pants-were-stolen-by-Riza-.

- - - Squee! A Chocobo! (Randomly put there for the joy of our authoress..)


End file.
